This is a big topic. One that may get some blow back from the homesteading world. But it’s a topic that needs more awareness. I am all for self-sufficiency lifestyles that are built on providing for yourself and your family such as through homesteading, gardening, farming, etc. However, in my few years of truly knowing what homesteading is about and diving into the lifestyle, I’ve found it lacks the community it once used to have. Here are my thoughts on the toxicity of self-sufficiency in today’s homesteading world.
Disclaimer:
Dear Reader,
It’s highly likely our personal experiences and thus, opinions, will vary significantly on this topic. This is a shared personal experience piece. At the end, there’s a call to action to discuss this topic. Feel free to drop your experiences with modern homesteading in the comments section.
Warmly,
Katie
Self-sufficiency by definition
According to the Brave web browser’s search, self-sufficiency is defined as “the quality or state of being able to provide for one’s own needs without external assistance.”
External assistance being, but not limited to, government help or assistance, grocery stores, media influence, etc.
Self-sufficiency is a simpler life.
Not simple in work because there is a lot that goes into providing for yourself and your family and your basic needs.
Simpler in:
- ingredient lists
- lifestyle and hobbies
- budget
- quality time
- and more
Modern Homesteading
Anyone in the “homesteading realm” will tell you a massive boom came to homesteading in the last 5 years, the covid-era. Some would even say “homesteading became ‘cool'” during this time.
A time we were being told what to do from every angle. How to dress in public (face masks), what medicines to take and not to take (shots and Ivermectin debates), how to properly wash our hands, where to go and not go (6 feet and follow the arrows), if you were “eligible status” or not based on your preference of health procedures (no shot = no international travel or sometimes no admittance to a concert or sporting event). And so much more.
Many folks decided “to heck with that” and wanted to move away or pull away from society. To be somewhere where they could make their own informed decisions and not have to rely on powers that be to tell them what to do.
Insert HOMESTEADING:
- A lifestyle of creating, growing, making, supplying for one self generally away from much of society.
- A simpler and quieter life.
- A life where we seclude ourselves.
Toxicity of modern homesteading
As I type out my thoughts, perhaps I’ve reached a new conclusion on the toxicity of modern homesteading?
Perhaps the covid-era pushed some of us away from others and into our homes, farms, gardens, families, spirituality in solitude.
In our defense, we WERE told to limit our contact with people. And honestly, most people were not fun to be around anyway, especially if they were engrossed in what the media and “officials” had to say about public safety.
So we retreated to our homesteads.
From summer gardener to homesteader
I’m from a small rural “farming community” in northeast North Carolina. Of course I was raised on growing my own summer garden. Tomatoes, potatoes, butterbeans, cucumbers, snap beans were must-grows.
I’ve always either been a harvester of a family member’s garden or raising my own garden for the last almost 40 years.
Growing a garden is just in my blood and a thing you did in the summer.
I, too, caught on real quick in the spring of 2020 that I wasn’t a fan of being told what to do or being lied to. So I dove into my studies of how to be more self-sufficient.
Gardening, I was okay at and knew the basics. It was time to spread my wings and get chickens and learn how to bake some bread! I was on my way to becoming a true homesteader.
Social media homesteading
Part of my homesteading studies included video how-tos on YouTube, purchasing books, and also social media.
Using it to glean information from those homesteaders, farmers, and gardeners who have gone before me and have information to share. Also using it to share what I’m learning as I’m learning it.
That’s actually exactly how this blog, Johnson Home NC, came to be– a place to share my experiences away from social media.
Things I learned about homesteading from social media experts:
- Everyone on the internet thinks their method is the best way to do something.
- One multi-generational homesteader who has a huge following and is very vocal about how her family has been homesteading FOREVER shared quite a bit for a spell on how homesteading is NOT summer dresses and beautiful half aprons. That those women romanticizing homesteading on social media were not real homesteaders… like she was.
- One popular homestead blogger and podcaster loves to say things like “I’ve been homesteading since before it became cool” and “I’ve been saying that thing everyone is just now talking about for over 15 years”. WE GET IT! You’ve a veteran homesteader. *unfollow*
- Another multi-generational homesteader decided to use her wealth of knowledge to share, instead of shame others, by creating a yearly conference where like-minded people come together as a COMMUNITY to learn from one another. (SPOILER: THIS IS WHAT HOMESTEADING SHOULD BE AND NEEDS MORE OF IN THE MODERN HOMESTEADING WORLD.)
- A few of my favorites to follow got burnt out from the constant pull to create homesteading content to keep audiences engaged and left social media altogether.
- MOST homesteaders want to share knowledge with you.
- Oftentimes the underlying message shared was to trust no one, lean on no one else for help, do it all yourself.
Granted, it should be understood at this point in my ramblings that these are MY opinions and MY interpretations from MY experience in the modern homesteading world.
Where modern homesteading is going wrong
My mother recently shared a post on Facebook and tagged me in it. It was about hog-killings of the days of old.
Her father was a hog farmer and killing day was usually December or January.
AND IT WAS A COMMUNITY EVENT!
Friends, neighbors, farmers, children out of school just for these days… so many hands on deck to get several hogs processed.
It was not a solo or one family only job! (But is this why long ago families were huge? Like 10-14 children was normal? My great grandmother was one of 17 children!)
The winter months had the holiday rush, sure, but it also had fresh pork chops and sausage on the table.
Modern homesteading oftentimes feels like we are forgetting to involve, heck–to just ask!–the community.
Because we don’t want to bother folks, make anyone feel obligated, or probably the biggest one– the modern world isn’t interested in this kind of activity!
Free chicken processing classes with little to no attendance
Twice a year we raise and process meat birds in our backyard.
I’ve considered charging for the class and did once where the student got to process their bird from beginning to end and then take it home. I had one student.
So then we switched to free classes.
We may have a family member stop by to peek at what we’re doing, staying no more than 5 minutes before dropping a comment about “that’s too much work” or “I could never” or “that’s cool. Aight, see ya later!”
This past chicken killing day, we did have one very enthusiastic and helpful student. A 6 year old. She was our chicken wrangler and we have declared the next time she comes to a chicken killing day, she will be paid! She has since asked her mother many times when the next chicken killing day will be.
THIS is the future of homesteading that gets me excited! Teach them young!
Anyway, the point is this:
- not only do people not want to come to free classes to learn where your food comes from and how it is raised and processed (or should be for ethical practices honoring God’s creation), they also:
- don’t want to help.
Honestly, not that we are asking.
And so the vicious cycle continues–
We don’t ask to include others because we know folks don’t want to help or be involved; therefore, folks aren’t learning or even tapping into a possible interest. Because we know they aren’t interested, we don’t ask… and so it goes.
We need COMMUNITY
As I type this, it does feel like a massive over-generalization of the modern homesteading community; however, from the stories my mom shares (and all her friends commenting on the hog-killing Facebook post), it’s apparent we aren’t doing homesteading in 2025 the same way they did it back in 1970 or earlier.
Farms and homesteads offered jobs to locals. Farm hands. But they also had friends they could lean on:
- Farmer Joe down the road has a tool I need to use but can’t afford to buy one. Not a problem, I can return the favor by helping on his next fence repair job or loan him my chicken killing cones.
- Ol’ Man Harris next farm over raises dairy cows and I’m interested in getting some myself. I ask and he accepts me 3 days a week for 2 hours a day for the next month to come help with morning and evening dairy animal chores so I can learn first hand. No return favor or payment needed. Just experience and education from a fellow farmer.
That’s community. It’s also helping a brother/sister out. It’s serving one another. Hey! That sounds biblical.
Modern homesteading has us not wanting to bother anyone
This may step on some toes if you’re of the BOOMER generation but I stand 10 toes down on this one:
The Boomers have no problem with showing up at your house unannounced. Boomers have very little problem asking a favor or for help. (Many of them, but not all, I realize!)
Then there’s the Millennial generation of which I am a member...
We don’t like asking nothing of no one. We like sticking to ourselves and please for the love of Christmas morning, TEXT (don’t even call) BEFORE YOU SHOW UP AT OUR HOUSE!
Why are we like this? I don’t know.
Maybe we grew up with our parents leaving us at home alone threatening us never to open the door for a single soul even if you know who they are. Hide! Close the blinds!
Maybe it’s the religious folk showing up unannounced, knocking on doors on Saturday mornings that we didn’t appreciate then and not now either… from anyone.
I can’t say for sure. But perhaps this is what has put us in the “I can do it by myself” club?
“I can do it by myself” club
The vicious cycle of not asking for help leading to lack of interest in learning something new = a mentality of “I’ll just do it by myself”.
I’ll just raise and slaughter my own chickens by myself.
I”ll just get a dairy cow and milk her by myself.
I’ll just get 3 steers to raise for meat by myself.
I’ll just pay someone else $10,000 to build this pasture fence by myself.
… As not to bother anyone or make anyone feel obligated.
The days of community help seem to be dying.
Living in a rural community
I said “seem to be dying”.
When you live in a small rural town, you will find folks who want to help you but generally, they aren’t going around asking to help you. If it’s a Boomer, they are asking YOU to help THEM. HA!
And because Millennials were the last generation raised in the “respect your elders” era, we do help them. With a smile on our face but a groan in our hearts. That’s not the kind of servant’s heart Jesus spoke of…
Now that I’ve given you the long of it, here’s the short:
We need to find a way to break the cycle of toxicity in the modern homesteading world.
How do we tone down the “self” in self-sufficiency?
How do we add more community?
- Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals by attending yearly conferences like Homesteaders of America.
- Join Facebook groups for local homesteaders.
- Reach out and make friends with those doing the same things you’re doing.
- Invite them over for dinner and farm discussion.
- Take them a home baked goodie to their house (AFTER texting permission to drop by at a time good for them) and start a discussion.
- Create the things you wish your community had
- a small round table discussion day about farm things/homesteading
- a small farm market/produce stand
- a farm crawl to visit other folks’ farms with permission, etc
- a farm to table dinner with friends
Be the change you wish to see.
All in all, it’s easy to fall into the trap of selfish self-sufficiency but
BE CAREFUL!
Doing it all on your own or just your small family can lead to burn out and pushing the next generation away from farming because it’s a lot of work, not a ton of fun, and it can get lonely doing it without friends.
What are your thoughts on modern homesteading?
Clearly this is an opinion piece and your thoughts/opinions/experience may be significantly different from mine.
Let’s discuss it!
- What have you experienced in homesteading, farming, gardening, etc. in your local community?
- What knowledge have you gleaned from another’s experiences?
- Do you agree with any of this above or vehemently disagree with me?
Follow along as I share more of my personal modern homesteading experiences
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